FRIDAY, APRIL 1ST, 2011
(REUTERS) Cupertino CA. Apple CEO Steve Jobs shook the tech-world and markets across the globe earlier today, when he announced that all future Apple products will be sold at cost, and that the critically acclaimed OS X operating system's next incarnation will be 100% open-source.
Noting the significance of the date, Jobs said, "Apple's roots lay in a communal orchard, but somehow we got lost along the way . Over the past few years, we've even begun to make Microsoft look ethical, so I knew something had to be done."
Apple also plans to loosen the stranglehold-like restrictions it has traditionally placed on software and mobile app developers, stating; "We are frankly shocked that anybody was ever willing to work with us before."
To ease the transition to non-profit, iTunes will be sold to HMV INC. with all proceeds from the sale going to battling hunger and homelessness in the U.S.
In other news, Jesus Christ announced that he will not be returning, and that he had indeed never planned to, after the horrendous treatment he received during his previous stay.
In other news, Jesus Christ announced that he will not be returning, and that he had indeed never planned to, after the horrendous treatment he received during his previous stay.
1 comment:
What A Marketing Ploy. They Must Be Loosing Market Shares. Apple Is Not A Benevolent Organization. Like A Drug Dealer, The First One Is Free. Oh You Want Another One, How Much You Got. There Must Be Something On The Horizon That's Going To Blow Microsoft Out Of The Market.
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