Dear OLG: Would you like a DNA sample as well?

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2011 

I am the lotto-captain of a hopeful little ticket-buying group at work.

Watching all of the nightmare stories of late about group purchases, I made sure that I researched all the ins and outs, and heeded all available legal suggestions before I started accepting signatures from both the participants and non-participants. (Yes, in our group you even have to sign a waver if you're not playing, removing any chance of any unsubstantiated claims!!)

I tried to anticipate everything, even getting the group to buy 3 month's worth of tickets all at once using the OLG's great "lotto advance" system.

What I didn't expect was that the "G" in OLG really stands for Gestapo!

You see, if you buy tickets online, you have to prove your age. Seems more than fair, but unfortunately, I was born in Québec in the 1950's...

Let me explain...

Back then, Québec didn't issue "Birth Certificates". Birth registrations were done by way of Baptismal papers, or similar civil documents (not very secular, I know, but neither was Québec in the 50's) .

Now, it should be noted that I could apply to Québec and have a modern birth certificate issued for a small fee (using my Baptismal papers as ID), but seeing as I can use (or have used)  the existing document to open bank accounts, take out a mortgage/loan, get an Ontario Driver's licence, or even get a Canadian Passport, I've never seen the point.

Further, if I do get a government issued birth certificate, it will be based on the information listed on my Baptismal papers, so could someone please explain the difference??

The OLG disagrees. They will not accept this document as a proof of age. Even though Baptismal Certificates were only issued as birth registrations prior to the 1970's - which in and of itself would verify my being well over 18, would it not??
 

Now, they have offered to accept a driver's licence, but I don't drive. They asked for a health card, but wouldn't accept the one I have, because it was issued pre-photocard...

hmmm...hold on a second!

The Ontario photo health cards were first issued in 1995 - 16 years ago, would a pre-photo card bearing my name not indicate that my health card is at least 17 years old, making me OVER 17? (Remember, I've told OLG that I was not born in Ontario!)

No, let's be honest here. OLG does not want me to prove my age - their multiple phone calls to my office have already done that (trust me, I haven't sounded like a teenager in over 40 years!) No, some supervisor simply wishes to continue hassling me until I do exactly as he/she says. Everyone reading this has dealt with this typical bureaucratic, fiefdom-protecting bullshit! I have simply always refused to tolerate it (yes Loreen, I'm at it again).

It was explained that the ID was unsuitable, because it would also not be accepted if one of our tickets won (although what this has to do with proving my age, is beyond me)

Even though I find it less unreasonable than refusing Baptism documents for proof of age (they are, after all, the ultimate proof of age), if they refuse my ID in the case of a winning ticket I will raise more shit than OLG has seen since shopkeepers were shown to be claiming other people's winnings (fat lot of good ID served in those cases!!).

And let's face it, I am being penalized for OLG's  reputed ineptitude.

I am more than willing to provide secondary photo ID, but refusing to accept a document that is considered valid identification by most Federal government offices (albeit sometimes with restrictions), goes way beyond any rights OLG may have, and certainly infringes on mine. Are they honestly trying to tell me, that in the age of terrorism, a piece of ID which will gain me a valid Canadian Passport is not good enough to ID me for winnings in a group lottery (where I will have 13 co-workers - who will be forced to share the prize with me - vouching for me.)

Nonetheless, that's a bridge we will cross when we come to it. The ID that I would provide should we win, has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the type of ID that I provide to prove my age at the time of purchase. As far as I know, one does not require Identification when purchasing through a kiosk, where age is verified by sight. It's not my fault that this historically inefficient Crown Corporation hasn't figured out a web equivalent (funny, I never have problems purchasing other "adult" content online, do any of you?)

So allow me to put OLG on notice, I plan to make an issue out of this if they also refuse to accept my City of Toronto photo ID  -  and anyone who has seen me in action when I have been put-off or put-out by a bureaucracy, knows all too well that I have the knowledge and community based resources to, if not win, at the very least make my battles very public and noisy...

...of course I absolutely love a righteous fight!

I will not suffer being treated unfairly, simply as a result of dealing with a website which has not learned how to properly service customers online. And Paul Godfrey wants to get the OLG involved in online casinos??? Yikes!

I am advising OLG of this post, and will give them equal time to make comment. All of you can judge whether  you think that their "justifications" are reasonable.

In the meantime, 14 people gave me a total $676 two weeks ago, and we still haven't been entered in a single draw - because, at 56,  I can't prove I'm over 18 to a group of bureaucrats, who are sitting in their office discussing how unreasonable I am being, and how they won't bend now, just to spite me.

If they continue to refuse to assist me (as I implied above, I have offered them my City of Toronto employee photo ID, and am awaiting a response), I'll be enlisting the help of social networking  "friends", and getting my MP involved.

Only a complete idiot pisses-off a (still) pre-geriatric French Canadian!

(although it has been nice to be "carded" for the first time in about 40 years!)