S A T U R D A Y, N O V E M B E R 2 0, 2 0 1 0
Auto-Tune...
Anti-music. The Great Satan of Sound. Demon Child of Deception. Simulated-Talent Processor. Uber-cool toy. Star Maker.
What can you say about a program that is being used on virtually every new song on the radio, making superstars of singers like Taylor Swift, Rascall Flatts, Maroon 5 and countless others. (Notice no links, I don't link to synthetic vocalists)
Auto-Tune is the modern variant of the vocoder. In it's traditional purpose, it would add blatant echo, pitch and timber effects to a singer's voice in real-time. Used heavily in the late seventies and early eighties, it fell out of favour until Cher's 1998 monster-hit
"Believe", where she used it to great over-the-top effect, morphing robotic effects into her vocal track.
I have no problem with Auto-Tune when it's used to create the "cher effect" - an in-your-face use of the tech. Hell, my heyday was the golden era of disco, and the birth of syntho-pop and techno. I have more than a few albums in my collection that are dripping with digital effects. In fact, here's a great example of how much fun you can have with pitch correction software and a bit of imagination (sorry about the ads...they're courtesy of Google, not me)...
Now, I don't care what anyone says, the ability to take a spoken interview and process it into a song, is pretty damned cool. Where I draw the line is when you use pitch correction to...well, to correct pitch. It's a far more insidious use, as you're not supposed to hear it. It is used subtly, to disguise the fact that a singer can't sing. If you need software to keep you on key (Ms Swift!), then you shouldn't be making your living as a singer. (Unless of course, you're Neil Young, who's signature voice has given us some of the greatest ballads of our times - all without Auto-Tune.)
Julie Taymor's dazzling 2007 musical "Across the Universe", in which classic Beatles songs are used to advance the plot, should have been my favorite film of that year... it had everything going for it - except human voices. The entire audio track is autotuned, rendering the film impossible to sit through without squirming!
In the past couple of years, its use has dominated the top 40 pop and country(!) charts. With it, the music industry can greatly enhance the productivity of its star factory, and not run the risk of their investment jumping ship to escape their control. With boy-bands and girl-bands, from The Shirelles to N-Sync, you had to invest in recruitment, voice training, dance lessons, and session musicians. Manufacturing a new star from scratch is expensive, and the artist can then simply have a lawyer find the cheapest way out of their contract (after the poor record company has spent the time and dollars to train and market them.) If you help someone become skilled, they remain skilled, even as the door slams behind them.
But with auto-tune, you can give and take away the ability to sing. Wanna break their careers? Let 'em do a couple of live concerts, without overdubs or live voice-processing.! Muahahaha! Make your money off them, and if they get too full of themselves, just let them go. After all, they're simply employees - and not very skilled ones at that.
Look, if I'm going to purchase the work of an artist, all I ask is that there be an actual artist involved. If a singer can't sing, then they should be advised to look for alternative employment, not post-processed into the appearance of talent.
Now the point of this insanely long-winded pre-amble...
I can actually HEAR the subtle use of auto-tune. There is a timber in the sound that not only identifies the software immediately, but also has a nails-on-a-chalkboard effect on me. It's not only annoying, it makes my skin crawl. When I was young, the sound of crunching snow did the same thing.
Is it just me? Is covert pitch-correction noticeable to everyone? Maybe you don't have a physical(?) reaction to it as I do, but can you at least hear it? Have you ever even noticed it? (please let me know on the survey to the right.)
I began to cringe at more and more radio "hits", and realized that I had to find an alternative source for new music. I went rummaging through the Indie scene, listening to a virtual cornucopia of artists I had never heard of before, and I discovered a sound as comforting as autotune is painful. A sound that I really hadn't heard much...at least not since I was knee high to a grasshopper. That's the sound of a slide steel guitar.
Most of you have already received your complimentary copy of the Jed's Dead album; "
You've Already Won, Babydoll" courtesy of PeBoVision. If you haven't received your email notice from iTunes, be sure to contact me so I can get you your copy. This is as close to being a "Friend with Benefits" as I get!
Here's the deal....
If you know me in person, you're automatically eligible for the give-away. Whether you're a business acquaintance, a close friend, a family member, or a prostitute I hired up in a drunken stupor, I will buy you a copy of this brilliant CD (in iTunes format). If you don't like the record, well, it was free - think of someone who may like it, and pass it on, without keeping a copy. If, on the other hand (as is far more likely), you absolutely LOVE the album, you will buy one copy each for two friends, holding them to the same set of rules.
The sole purpose of this offer is create a viral interest in a deserving little band. I would really like to help the success of this truly enjoyable album from a gathering of very talented songsters, who deserve a wider exposure. I have this powerful tool at my disposal (and the blog), but I can't do anything without the help of the small group who read my scribblings. Consider this to be your contrition for all those illegal mp3 files you've downloaded.
Listen, only if everyone participates, will this group of 20-30 friends grow exponentially. Just think of seeing a band that YOU helped put on the map, doing a North American tour!
Imagine me uploading embarrassing pictures of you to this very blog (you know I have them) if you decide that you're not going to participate.
And it'll cost you less than one of Sally Struthers damned kids!
Act now, and I might even be able to compel Edward Romero (of Jed's Dead) to send you a letter and pictures on his birthday and holidays, telling you of his progress, and how your contributions have helped Edward and his family (of musicians) survive the horror of warm sunny Southern California
And Mr. Romero is no stranger to horror!
For the price of just 3 designer coffees, you can provide over a week of warm nutririous meals (Mac 'n Cheese) for a single Jed's Dead band member - excluding Mo Sosnow and Dave Wharton who, besides not being single, are married to each other. (heterosexual marriages are legal in the morally liberal U.S.)
For the price of 3 designers coffees AND a bottle of Jack Daniels, you can...well you can give one of them a bottle of Jack Daniels too! Think of the big wide smile you would receive from
Johnny Hawthorn (who tours regularly with
Toad the Wet Sprocket), or the warm painful look of hung-over gratitude from
Matthew Thies.
Just imagine the pride you will feel in knowing that you helped rescue a group of pitiful souls from their inevitable descent into the dark world of drugs, alcohol, debauchery, gambling, petty-crime, sexual deviancy and Catholicism!
You can change 5 lives for less than
the cost of
3 Mocha Frappachinos!
(and an optional fifth of Jack Daniels)
And hey, you provide some cool and groovy new tunes for two of your closest friends, because you're just that kind of person!
(The kind who can't be bothered actually going out, and putting a modicum of effort into finding something that your closest friends might want, and figure buying them a kick-ass album online - which you're compelled to buy anyway - will get 'em off the Christmas list!)
Braise Cheeses!
Coming up in Part Two...
More on "
You've Already Won, Baby Doll" from Jed's Dead, and a quick trip to a hotel that had a profound subliminal impact on my taste in music. A fact that took me 45 years to recognize.
That's the signpost
up ahead - our next stop...
Speaking of the "Bieber-Till-You-Puke" phenomenon, Justin won the "Breakout-Artist-of-the-Year". I can actually get behind his winning that particular category. It does not suggest talent of any kind. Self-agrandizing teeny-bopper acts turn my stomach far too much to accept his worthiness for any other category though.
William started plucking on rubber bands as a baby. Well, it wasn't long before his grandmother recognized his potential and told his uncle Sebastian to start teaching him guitar basics. Learning finger positions for chords from the back covers of CD's (remember when YOUR eyes were that good, fellow old farts?), he formed a punk band called "Silver Catalyst" in high school. As high school drew to a close, William realized that his heart really belonged to performing acoustic solos and he decided to audition for the end-of-classes gala with a song from his favorite artist (
I've been following Boom (Daniel) Desjardins since the single, 
